


Manifested

by xrosepetalsx



Category: Super Junior
Genre: 100 Super Junior Fics Challenge, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/xrosepetalsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun can’t live with himself for letting his boyfriend, Jongwoon, die. So he goes back, convinced he can save him this time, despite the elements buffeting against him, sending him off balance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Manifested

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ for the 100 Super Junior Fics Challange (#64). Archived here.
> 
> LJ Version: [here](http://insanityplays.livejournal.com/1698.html)

Kyuhyun rides, even as the rain pours down, beating a stead fast and painful rhythm against his back, soaking his shirt through until it clings to his body like a second skin. He rides, even as the wind buffeting against him threatens to throw him off course, threatens to force him off balance on the bike he shouldn’t even be riding.

He rides through the wood’s, even as the long limbed trees reach out to grab him, even as leaves scrape across his face, even as the brambles of broken and fallen branches threaten to pop his wheels, threaten to _force_ him to stop this madness.

He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, doesn’t know why he’s risking it out here in the storm. But he can’t stop himself, he just keep’s going like his life depends on it. And maybe it does depend on this. He can’t even be sure.

Kyuhyun hardly feel’s the rain pounding against him, hardly hears the thunder roaring above. He doesn’t see the lightening, even as it hits a tree behind him, sending it crashing to the ground where moments before he’d been. His heart is racing, pumping against his chest as he forces himself onward, even when he knows he can’t change anything.

But that dream woke him again, and this time, new dreams hadn’t been able to stop him from jumping out from beneath the covers, throwing on the closest clothing, and leaving the house as silently as he could.

Because even if subconsciously he knew, knew it was too late, that he couldn’t save his boyfriend from certain death anymore then he’d been able to the day he’d drowned, consciously, he believed, every night, he had a chance.

Somewhere in his subconscious mind, he knew it was useless. Maybe the subconscious knowledge is what kept him from staying awake at 1 in the morning in order to chase old demons, he didn’t know. He didn’t care.

Because consciously, he believed. He believed that if he could make it back to the lake by 1:17 and try, _try_ again, to save his dead boyfriend, he can bring him back to life. He has to believe.

And he hates his body, hates his mind for forcing lethargic, endless dreams on him, even after the nightmare of watching Jongwoon die _again_ and being unable to stop it woke him in a cold sweat.

But not tonight. He’d woken up, he’d pushed through the haze, and he’d seen the clock. He had 15 minutes to get to the lake. He had 15 minutes to save Jongwoon.

Tears were streaming down Kyuhyun’s face. He didn’t know how long it’d been, didn’t know how long he had, but he was pushing for it. Pushing as hard as he could, pressing his feet tight against the peddles of the bike, and it was time’s like these he wished he had a car, wished he could drive.

Because he knew he was running out of time, that Jongwoon was going to jump in the water any minute now, and he wouldn’t re-surface. He knew, any minute know, Jongwoon would leave him…cease to be.

And all he could do was blame himself. Because it’d been his fault to suggest late night swimming. Because how was it possible to see, even with the glow of the moon, all the collected bramble on the bottom of the lake that could so easily grab hold of you, even if you knew it was there? How could you prevent yourself from drowning, the way Jongwoon had?

Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the rain already on his skin, and sobs were breaking lose from his throat. He wasn’t prone to crying, but _Jongwoon!_ Jongwoon needed him _now_ and he had no idea how to tell how far he was from the lake. The lake where Jongwoon had tragically died, all because of _him!_ He had to make this right, and _goddamn it_ , he wanted his Jongwoon back.

Needed him.

Because who else could deal with his snarky comments, with the way he hid his embarrassment behind brash comments, the way he showed his love through rude remarks and laughs at mistakes made?

Jongwoon. Only Jongwoon.

Kyuhyun hadn’t seen the tree before he hit it, _couldn’t_ see through the rain and his tears, but the collision knocked him off balance, threw him from his seat, sent him reeling to the ground. He didn’t stay down long, standing up with a cry.

“Jongwoon, JONGWOON!” He cried, because he could do nothing else. Because he felt all sanity was leaving him, seeping through his body, leeching onto his tears, onto the rain, draining away.

He pushed onward, nearly at a run, slipping and falling countless times. Tree limbs grabbed at him, leaves and branches crunched under his feet, rocks tripped him up, lighting flashed above him, thunder rumbled around him, rain pressed against his skin.

And he could hear Jongwoon’s laugher.

He could almost cry for joy at the sound as he continued to run, losing his balance countless more times as he moved to the sound. He was almost there, he could save Jongwoon. He could see him again. He could hold him again, press him up against his body and kiss him. Love his faults, admire his courage…keep him safe.

Blood seeped from his skin, the rain washing away its traces even as it bloomed again. Kyuhyun could hardly feel the pain of the scrapes, of the jarring feel rocks breaking skin should bring. His arm was numb, useless against his side where he’d landed on it moments before.

He didn’t care. _Couldn’t_ care. Jongwoon was waiting for him.

He burst from the trees, laughter and giddiness bubbling up his throat. He could see Jongwoon, he was going to jump. And he could save him this time.

He didn’t bother screaming, knowing it was too late, but kept running, not even bothering to strip himself of his clothes before he was jumping into the frigid cold water, unaware the storm was kicking up the water into a dangerous maelstrom of destruction. He went under.

The water clogged Kyuhyun’s lungs, the cold penetrated his body, his legs could hardly move. But he could see Jongwoon as he was buffeted by the water. Kyuhyun wasn’t quite far enough down to reach him, to catch hold of that reaching hand. He kicked, even as his muscles cried from the cold. He moved farther down, even as his lungs cried for air. He ignored the water hitting against him, or the way Jongwoon’s voice screamed in his ears, telling him to _go back! You idiot, go back! It’s too late for me, GO BACK!_

It was too late for both of them, Kyuhyun realized when his lungs started to shut down, vision going black. His fingers grabbed hold of nothing, Jongwoon gone, a figure manifested from a mind gone mad.


End file.
